Where the Sidewalk Ends: Life After College

So as many of my fb statuses have suggested, over the past month or so I've been severely depressed. I think I've said a few times on here how I hate the waiting game and wished it would just be over. Well, the waiting game ended the day after I got home from a friend's wedding in St.Augustine. I didn't get into Emerson. I actually received an e-mail from them asking me to update my address just so they could send me my 5 line rejection form letter. It's not the first rejection letter I've ever received, but it was the first time I've been rejected from a school I wanted to go to. I was accepted into all of the schools I applied to for Undergrad, and after I got the letter from Emerson telling me it was all over, I felt like I'd been slapped. Part of me knew it wasn't going to happen. Part of me thought I wasn't really ready to pick up and move to Boston and go to school there and live on my own. All I could do was wonder what had gone wrong. Was

So I lied. I might blog again today, but rather than go straight into the challenge, I thought I'd take this time to muse. I mean, the house is quiet aside from the Seether blaring from my ihome. But it's not really blaring, because I have the volume down to 1, maybe my ears have just adjusted. That's how quiet the house is right now. It's weird: even being right across the hall from my sister and down the hall from my parents it's still so quiet at night. Last night, in a moment between sleep and waking, I could hear a train because apparently the tracks are right across the street from our neighborhood. It wasn't like I'd imagined it would be; I slept through most of it, the walls didn't shake and no one else here at home woke up to the sound of it heading off into the distance. I've been musing about a lot of things lately. One of them: friendship. One of the biggest transitions in coming home has been realizing that many of my close friends her

So I think I blogged more before I had even graduated, then I have since graduation...which seems weird since this whole blog is supposed to cover the time between graduation and whenever I get back into school. So I'm back home. The first night was really depressing. I literally came home on Easter, went to my room and fell into a coma that was half exhaustion, half disappointment at being back where I started. I love my family, but I'd really hoped after college I wouldn't have to move back home. I got so used to the freedom of being away at school over the past 4 years that coming back to my parent's house...didn't seem like a great option. They're super super super strict. To the point where even by Junior year of college when I'd come home for breaks I had a curfew of 11:30 or 12 if I really pushed it. The last break I was home they accused me of drunk driving and threatened to take away my car because I had 1/2 a beer with lunch and then drove my siste

Whenever I write creatively, I face two major criticisms. The first, "You write beautifully, but do not always tell a story," and the second, "sometimes you need to know when to 'kill' your darlings." The second is one I am having a hard time with right now in the current piece I'm writing. I've changed the title multiple times...right now it's "Whiskey Confessions," or something like that...but it's still not done...and the problem is, I'm becoming unsure of how to fix it. I cut the half that interrupted the flow of the narrative and I've focused in more closely on the two characters, because I want to use omniscience. It was my goal this semester in fiction class to write a piece with omniscience, limited or complete, just omniscience. One problem I face is that my professor feels omniscience is "too much to attempt in a short story," but I don't agree. I've seen many short stories this semester that have

This wasn't how I expected to feel. I thought the end of my senior year would be a breeze. I thought a weight would be lifted and I'd feel excitement for what was to come, but instead I feel hollow. I'm not excited about the future and I'm unsure of where I am going next. Yes, I have options, but doesn't everyone? We're all moving on from school and about to be thrust into the real world or back into school...that alone is an option...but recently my life has started to feel like one huge waiting list. Wait-listed for the school I want to go to, but probably can't afford even if I get in...offered a spot as an alternate for a program that a natural disaster has made nearly unfathomable...and looking forward to what? The bleak alternative of going back to Disney for another year? maybe another two? I'm sure most of the people who end up working at Disney for years didn't plan on being there that long. Unless you're upper management, and sometimes